The Break Up How it Should Have Been
by PiperandLeoFan101
Summary: ONESHOT This is how i think that Piper should have broken up with Dan very unrealistic but funny, danhaters will probably love it! warning a lot of sexual references


**Disclaimer- I don't own Charmed, but you're about to see what would happen if I did**

**So I was talking to my sister about those people who make their screename PiperandLeoForever or something along those lines or even PhoebeColeLover, I'm not signaling anyone out I made these up on the top of my head I don't know if there are really screenames like that but anyway I hate it when they names like that and then they go and write a PiperCole fic. I mean you say that you love one couple so you put them with other people? I don't mean to offend any one but that bugs me anyway so we were talking about that then that lead us to talk about how I'd put Piper and Dan together and then have her break up with him for Leo then it hit me to write this! LOL**

**Summary: This is the way I think that Piper should've broken up with Dan. Dan Haters reunite! lol Trust me if you hate Dan as much as I do you'll love it!!! oneshot**

**The Break Up (How It Should Have Been)**

Piper sat down with Dan at P3. She was going to break up with him today. Finally, she could be with Leo for real. She sat their thinking of what she should say to him. That's when she noticed his hair. Man it was greasy! Why hadn't she noticed this before? Then she looked at him. Man he really wasn't that hot, in fact he was kind of ugly. How had she never noticed it?

Piper started to think back to her relationship with Dan. He really was a jerk from the beginning. Every time Leo was there he'd give her a hard kiss just to say "she's with me now". Piper had never thought that much of it before, but now she couldn't believe that she'd been ok with that. Why on earth did she date this ass whole?

Leo was so much hotter then Dan was! He was also kinder and more caring. Dan was so jealous all the time. He even had the nerve of telling her to stop seeing Leo! Like he had that right. Leo was ten times better in bed too! EWWWWWWW! She slept with that ass whole. She must have been under some sort of spell or something. Thinking about all this she decided that she wasn't going to break it to him easily, she wanted him to suffer the way Leo had to. She noticed Leo sitting at a bar near by. She smiled. She knew exactly what she was going to do.

She walked up to the stage of P3. The band was taking a break so she borrowed the microphone.

"Attention everyone."

The place quieted down

"Thanks, anyway I have an announcement to make. Dan it's over! I don't like you! Your hair is greasy and you're really ugly. You're also a huge jerk. Every time Leo was around you always tried to kiss me to make him jealous. Plus you really suck in bed and you're penis is tiny! Leo gave me the best orgasms of my life and you well it took forever to cum, that's how turned off I am! I realize now that I was an idiot for dating you and sleeping with you. It was just disgusting. I hope I didn't catch a disease. Wait come to think of it I did. You know the doctor probably misdiagnosed. It wasn't aroya fever it was probably from you! Anyway so yeah basically it's over! I love Leo not you and we've already made out about a thousand times!"

At the end of her speech Piper looked at Dan he was in tears crying like a baby. Everyone just looked at him and laughed, Leo the hardest. To end the perfect rejection Piper ran to Leo and jumped into his arms. With her legs wrapped around his waist they began to make out passionately. Everyone applauded.

Dan just couldn't tear his eyes away.

Leo broke the kiss to shout at Dan, "hey bud you snooze you lose and now I'm getting naked with your neighbor!"

Everyone laughed and Piper and Leo went back to kissing.

Dan ran out crying. It was the worst night of his life!

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**So what did you think? Was it funny? Did you like it or was it a waste of your time? Please tell me I'm thinking of writing another one shot that kind of goes with it about Piper and Leo and Dan. I'm not sure yet. Oh and those of you that read my other story, I should be updating soon. Please Review!!!**


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